So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
