I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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