i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
