Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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