i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
