You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
