so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
