Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
