He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
