I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
