I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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