i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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