I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
