Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
