ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we made out on top of his cat.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
