ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
So. Much. Porn.
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