Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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