All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
