If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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