sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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