watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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