Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
