Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
