I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
