Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
