why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just want nice things and good sex
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
