well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize