sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You were trust falling into bushes
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
