escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize