a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
