He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
