dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize