I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
