that's an acceptable place to lick
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
