we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
