I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
