just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
