even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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