You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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