My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
