So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
