My friends, they love my intelligence
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
