she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize