I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
