dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
