but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
