i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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