She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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