good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
