Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
