Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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