Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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