btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
