YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
