Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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