dude i'm inner monologue high
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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