Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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