did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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